sleep

it's 3am, I woke up & couldn't fall sleep again. I feel stressed. I couldn't stop worrying & thinking.

im worried that I might oversleep again today. im worried that I couldn't manage to get up & breakfast with you. Im worried I will let you down.

recently I always have bad dreams. sometimes it's about you abandon me. sometimes it's about people I don like. sometimes it's about school. sometimes it's the past.

I have a lot of responsibility & stress. I feel helpless & sad. before this. I not dare to paktoh because I don think I got time for it. I guess I was right.

does that mean I should nvr pakto?

im sorry, my dear.

I feel sad. I miss u. & I need you.

but I also understand that if you feel tired & unhappy with me, with current relationship, if you think I cant fulfill your wish & desire, if you wish to stop, I understand. im sad. im crying now. I want u to be happy. seeing that I always cant make you happy, I feel sad & stressed.

you know, everyday I feel tired, sad, angry, but still Im anticipated to meet you. I looking forward to seeing you, cuddling with you. it's the best time of my day although it's short time. but I cant be selfish I know.

I love you.

I hope that you love me & my family too.

Merry Christmas, love

my dear, it's our first Christmas. thank you for being together with on Christmas eve & Christmas day.

you make my Christmas meaningful & happy.

I love you, and I already start feeling sad that we left only one week holidays. I miss you a lot. I rarely show my emotion, I hide my emotion well in my heart.

I prepared couple mugs for you. with our Bali photos printed on mugs. I hope you like the mugs.

thank you for making 100 paper hearts for me. you put effort in it. im touched. I feel happy everytime I see it. I can feel your love. I really love it.

thank you for giving me the flowery dress. you really surprised me. im happy. you already surprised me when you gave me the line app grey tshirt. last night you surprised me again.

thank you for bringing me to cafe2 for a romantic dinner. it's like a dream.

dear, I love dancing with you..I feel so happy dancing together with you. I love cuddling with you while watching tv. it's so perfect. I wish I can be with you like that forever.

my love, are you real?

you are the best thing that ever happened to me.

you are the sweetest thing in my life.

you are the best guy.

you are the most handsome in my eyes.



I miss you already.
dear Chris, merry Christmas. I wanna spend every Christmas with you. please stay with me always.

I love you.

22nd

happy 5 month anniversary


I have no regrets

I love you

today Christmas gift has come. I cant wait to give you. hope you wont be disappointed.

dear Chris, I love you

Pura Ulun Danu Bratan

To me, during our Bali trip, this place is the most memorable place. firstly, it's my first time visit. secondly, you rode the scooter for two hours in order to reach there & another two hours back to Ubud. thirdly, our scooter was out of petrol for two times, going there one time & coming back one time.

Pura ulun danu bratan is the name of the temple. it looks like a pagoda. unexpectedly, it's actually at highland. I didn't expect the lake will be on the mount.

dear, I know that you were nervous & stressed about the rainy weather & petrol. you seem afraid that I might get angry & scold you. 老公, I wont. yet I think that it's very interesting experience. a lot of fun. a lot of memories.

when you were away with the kind uncle, i was sitting alone on scooter seat, there were 2 cars driving past & honking at me. that time I was a little afraid but I still enjoyed the scene a lot. it's very quiet & peaceful.

when you came back to me in such a short time, I felt surprised & happy.

another memory on this day is you were unhappy that I gave you direction to bebek bengil too slow. in order to punish you, I insisted to ride back home. there were a few reasons I wanna ride actually. firstly, I wanna ride just because I wanna ride, even just short distance, because I wanna experience it again. secondly, I wanna let you know how I actually felt sitting behind you, although you thought you were stable, you neglected my feeling & anxiety. I wanna let you feel hw I feel. even if you are stable, I still worry. it's not your problem, nt my problem, it's just naturally happening. thirdly, it's so much fun riding, with you behind, sense your nervousness, I feel a lot of happiness. wahaha. that s why I couldn't stop laughing at the end & stopped by roadside. if not, I could have gone back homestay.


honey, you are very sweet.

my dear, I love you. & I need you. and you are my shoulder. muaks.

thank you for everything.

short hair

18 December 2016

I got myself jellyfish hairstyle. I'm the type of girl that won't cry if my hair turnt out awful or too short after a cut (maybe yeah when I was 5)

hair will grow. that s what I think.

so my dear, let's shave our heads together one day in future. let's go bald for raising awareness of cancer.

my love, I love you.

I love you.

Bali

老公

my dear

thank you for going to Bali with me.
thank you for riding scooter those days in Bali.
thank you for holding my hand all the time (I feel safe that I wont fall down as easily as usual)
thank you for not hurting my feeling (saying you not dislike the home stay that i like)
thank you for willingly taking prewedding photos together with me (what more we didn't even hire any cameraman or make-up/hair-do beautician)
thank you for feeding me because you afraid i might be hungry
thank you for making my dreams come true(going to Bali with my lover, seeing sunset at uluwatu & legian beach, having dinner on jimbaran beach, self prewedding photoshooting at beach & gunung merta bungalows, riding scooter with lover)


I love you more & more.
I become more confident in you, and also in our relationship.


im glad that we made it through.
i wish that we could be maintain this loving forever.
i hope that we can go on overseas trip every year. (just you & me)


dear Chris, I love all the photos we selected tonight. 100 photos. because it cannot be done without you or me. we make it together.


my dear, my honey, i love you.

muaks muaks~~~😘😘😘