sleep

it's 3am, I woke up & couldn't fall sleep again. I feel stressed. I couldn't stop worrying & thinking.

im worried that I might oversleep again today. im worried that I couldn't manage to get up & breakfast with you. Im worried I will let you down.

recently I always have bad dreams. sometimes it's about you abandon me. sometimes it's about people I don like. sometimes it's about school. sometimes it's the past.

I have a lot of responsibility & stress. I feel helpless & sad. before this. I not dare to paktoh because I don think I got time for it. I guess I was right.

does that mean I should nvr pakto?

im sorry, my dear.

I feel sad. I miss u. & I need you.

but I also understand that if you feel tired & unhappy with me, with current relationship, if you think I cant fulfill your wish & desire, if you wish to stop, I understand. im sad. im crying now. I want u to be happy. seeing that I always cant make you happy, I feel sad & stressed.

you know, everyday I feel tired, sad, angry, but still Im anticipated to meet you. I looking forward to seeing you, cuddling with you. it's the best time of my day although it's short time. but I cant be selfish I know.

I love you.

I hope that you love me & my family too.