Early morning you noticed my changes. You said I was cold. I didn't want to tell. You kept persuading me to tell. When you hugged me, I couldn't control my tears. You promised that you won't get angry. Then I told you what was troubling me. I was very, very, very sad. You hugged and comforted me. Before this, we have been through this multiple times, but never this close distance. Before this, I might hinted you, told you, but I never showed my real feelings so openly because I kept in heart for months. But this morning I felt so sad and heartbroken again. I was surprised that you noticed my difference although you didn't realize that I actually cried already. But when you were hugging me, I really couldn't control my tears anymore. It's not easy for me, to love someone, to accept someone, to continue staying in relationship. You tried to cheer me up. And I told myself that I would be fine.
In afternoon we met your friends. Your friends are so funny and cute. You talked a lot about your mutual friends and recent lifestyle. I laughed when they asked you about us. You looked so panicked and kept changing topics. I wanted to tell them more about us but I didn't because I was afraid that you might not like it. At the end, I asked them about you instead. They told me a lot of things about you. I feel very happy. 'He can cook'. But you always failed cooking red bean soup and so on. 'Sangat manja' 'Kuat merajuk' 'Kutuk orang lain tapi orang lain tak boleh kutuknya' 'Bring him to shopping because he will carry all bags' 'Let us go to his room and play games'
Is he handsome?
He now looks more handsome, I think he lost some weight oh?
He is not handsome type, he is cute type.
(Well. this part I made up)
You were paying bill at the counter. I then asked them a question.
Is he trustworthy?
Yes, he is good.
Yes, don't worry.
okay. I smiled.
It was a very lovely gathering. I'm glad that we had short gathering with them. Because last night you seem bored at wedding dinner and disappointed with some of them. This morning I tried to ask you to date them but you refused. Luckily they took initiative to date you. If not you might be still very disappointed.
This evening I had some family problem. And you regretted that you didn't allow me to go home. You were guilty that I got scolded. (aha, in future, you will learn to avoid me getting scolded again, alright.) Dear, it's okay, don't worry. I'm fine. I feel very guilty too. and I also want to show love and care towards my family. Actually I also hope that you can learn to show love and care towards your family too. Talk patiently to your parents. Don't always say 'zuo mok' when you answer their calls (and my calls too). Please smile when you talk to them on phone. They can feel it. Let's show more passion towards our family ok.
Dear, I'm glad we had short getaway. And I'm glad we met up my friends and also your friends. Thanks for bringing me to Al's wedding dinner, it's my first time attending Iban's wedding. Thanks for introducing me as your girlfriend to your friends. Thanks for saying to them that you plan to get married next year (although sometimes I doubt that you can make it happen). Thanks for comforting me when I'm sad. Thanks for showing your love and care towards me.
Never break my heart. Never lie to me. And never betray me.
I love you. Muaks
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