short honeymoon

it's like short honeymoon for us. but it's also like married life. my love, you are a great guy. you are so tortured because of me. you have to spend so much physical energy & mental strength while being together with me.
thank you for all you've done for me. thank you for accompanying when I feel upset & stressed facing my dad's health problem. thank you for bringing me here & there, and also carrying my heavy stuff for my family. thank you for feeding me & cheering me up, make me laugh always. thank you for being understanding & caring. thank you for being patient with my emo, sorrow, insecurity, stress, anxiety & fear. thank you for comforting me, wiping my tears & cheering me up.
you are a great guy. you are my world, honey.

I love you

Chris & Ivy

I was touched when I saw the roses. I don't wanna look too happy to encourage you to buy roses. to me  they are very expensive even though you think they are cheap (rm35-50 is expensive for me). but, honey , thank you for the roses. you said you still will give me roses when I become 50. I really felt very touched. so touched that I had to hold my tears. (hopefully you really will remember & do it when we turn to 50's)
老公 today is special. i kept recall how we met, how we became friends, how you confessed, how we started & how we compromised to maintain this relationship.
it's like a long & beautiful dream. thank you for being courageous to confess to me. thank you for loving me. thank you for being understanding & caring. thank you for pampering me. thank you for everything you've done. thank you, Chris.
I love you. I love looking at you when you look at somewhere else. your side face look handsome & manly. (from front you look more like a child) I love looking at you because I wanna make sure that you are real. before we get together, when we were just friends, sometimes in your car I would look at your face without you noticing. I started to have feelings towards you but I never wanna develop the feelings. because you never really showed any symptoms that proved your love. you are nice, kind, cute, intelligent & humorous. and also you are strong, handy in fixing , good driver and helpful friend. I always wonder why God didn't get you a good & kind girlfriend. I prayed for you, you know. I prayed to God hoping that He could give you a very good wife.
now I understand why. God reserved you for me & reserved me for you. I feel blessed to have you. I hope you too feel blessed.
dear, I wanna show my love towards you too. please teach me how to love you. how to show my love. I hope you love the card I made & the cake I bought. I hope that you can feel my love. muaks.
honey, I wanna grow old together with you. let's cuddle on couch even.when we are 50, 60, 70, 80, 90... ...
I love you. and I will always love you.
muaks muaks~

Happy 100 Day

My Love


Happy 100 Day.


I Love You.

A Long Day

always things happened in my life. my life has always been dramatic life. unexpected things keep occurring.
without any symptom, my father suddenly fallen ill seriously. he's been weak, lost appetite & immobile since last December. he always sleeps. he rather sleeps than to wake to eat.
i read article before saying that old people are like that. eat less, sleep more. never force old people to eat a lot. i then change my way. i want to leave no regrets. i told him to tell me whatever he wanna eat at anytime. i will try my best to get the food & let him have a taste of it. even though after school im tired, i still will go tapao for him. even almost reaching home, i still will turn to the certain shop & buy the food. even though mother disagreed to give him ice cream, i still will get for him. it's because i don't want to disappoint him. and also because im scared he might leave suddenly & i wish that he can get all he wants.i hope that i can fulfill all his wishes, at least in getting food he wants.
老公 im glad that u are there for me. i feel so much better when i see you. & i feel completely fine in your arms. i feel peace when we hug each other. 老公 thank you so much for today. you were so tired but you still wanted to stay with me. I love you.
i love my father. since 10 years ago, i keep telling myself that my father is very old & might leave anytime. i try to be mentally well prepared for it. however it's never enough preparation. im still scared. & in my heart i always cannot let him go. i always pray that he can stay with me at least until after my wedding day. i always wish that he can walk me down the aisle. for now, it's too much. i just pray that he can go without pain & struggle, and that i can be tough enough to face his leaving.
that day will come, no matter what. on that day, please be with me. please come to me, find me, hug me & comfort me. it will be the most heartbreaking day in my life.
im glad that i have you. i admit that im scared to pakto. but you always can make me feel better.
you are my sleeping pil.
and also you are my painkiller.
i love you, 老公.
muaks muaks.
please take good care of yourself so that you can take good care of me. please live healthily. please live long. please stay by my side. please don't leave me until we're very old. i want you to be there with me as long as i live.
i love you. 😘

One Day

Tomorrow is Day 100 of our relationship.
It's a miracle for me. I always easily gave up in love. I always thought I'm too crazy, too sensitive & too fragile in handling my emotions. I'm always scared that if I love someone too much, & when it doesn't end well, I will end my life too. that's how extreme I'm.
you're the only one that I gave so much trust to. that's why I accepted you & being together with you until now. it's really not easy for me to travel this far in love journey. it's a very huge step for me. giving my heart to you is like giving my life to you.
you were so insecure, depressed & moody at the beginning. I gave you comfort & stayed with you. I hope that you could do the same for me. I'm an emotional person. it's just I rarely show to anyone. and when I show it, it means im really very emotional already. please stay with me, love me, pamper me & comfort me especially during my period.
honey, I love you. if we break up now, I'll cry like dying. wuhuhu. whenever u break my heart, i also cry like dying. pakto is so difficult for me, you know. it's really very tough for me. for you, it's easy. but for me, it's super damn difficult.
I miss you. I miss your hugs very much. I feel safe in your arms. & I feel loved when I lie on your chest. I wish I could hug you anytime, lie on your chest & listen to your heartbeat anytime. my love, I'm sorry that im such an emotional & insecure girl. but please never scold me, hit me & break my heart.
I love you 老公. muaks muaks. let's looking forward to our day 100.
One day to our Day 100.

爱心 Paper Hearts

我是一个很复古的人。
我喜欢古典的东西。
我喜欢传统的文化。
我喜欢写诗、写文字。
我喜欢亲手做东西给喜欢的人。

我一直很希望可以收到我喜欢的人亲自做的礼物。
卡片也好。
玫瑰花也好。
折简单的爱心也好。

亲爱的，我们好不容易可以走到100天。
我真的很开心。
我从来没有想过跟一个人在一起那么久。
因为我每一次喜欢人，从来没有奢望过可以跟对方在一起，更没有奢望过可以跟对方在一起超过100天。
因为我的喜欢总是那么浅，那么淡，那么短暂，那么经不起考验。

我们可以在一起100天，对我来说，一点都不容易。
因为我是有恋爱恐惧症的女生。
我很害怕爱上人。
我很害怕被爱。
我很害怕谈恋爱。
因为我很害怕分手。

亲爱的，请原谅我无理的要求。
请原谅我的任性。
请原谅我的情绪化。

我是真的，真的，真的很想要收到你折的100个爱心。
每一天，一个爱心，代表你爱我的一颗心。
我很期待我们的100天。
因为那对我来说是那么地奇迹。

这100天里，你让我很幸福，却也让我很痛苦过。
无数次，我想要转身离开，我不想要继续了，因为谈恋爱对我来说真的是太困难了。

我是那么崇尚自由的人。
我是那么热爱独处的人。
可是你，让我愿意牺牲自由，愿意与你为伴。
我改变了很多。
是你所不知道的，因为你并没有见过从前的我。
从前的我像一只刺猬一样，没有人靠近得了我。

亲爱的，请你了解我的心。
请你懂得我爱人的方式。
也请你学习懂得如何爱我，好吗。

100个爱心，象征着我们爱情的开始。
也象征着我克服了爱情恐惧症。
请你包容我的神经敏感，还有小女生的浪漫细胞。

你所做的玫瑰花，我很珍惜。
你所亲手写的情书，我很珍惜。
我都很珍惜。

请你也懂得珍惜我的玻璃心。

我爱你。
倒数3天。

I love classics.
I love traditional culture.
I love poems.
I love words.
I love making things for person I love.

I always wish that I could receive some precious gift which is handmade by the person I love and loves me back.
Even a simple card.
Even a paper rose.
Even just a simple paper heart.

My Dear, it's not easy for us to survive 100 days.
I'm really very happy.
Before this, I have never thought of being together with someone for this long.
It's because every time I liked someone, I never wished to be together with someone, and of course never hoped to get together with someone for more than 100 days.
It's because the way I liked someone was always very light, very shallow, very short, very fragile.

You and I could get together for 100 days, to me, it's really very difficult, you know.
Because I have love phobia.
I'm afraid of loving someone.
I'm afraid of being loved.
I'm afraid to falling in love with someone.
Because I'm so so so afraid of breaking up with someone.

My Dear, please forgive me for my ridiculous request.
Please forgive me for being so stubborn.
Please forgive me for being so emotional.

I really, really, really wish to receive the 100 paper hearts that folded by you.
You will be the only one that could do this for me.
Every day, one paper heart, represent your heart in loving me.
I'm looking forward to our 100th day.
Because to me, it is such a big and unbelievable miracle.

In these 100 days, you made me feel blissful, but also made me feel suffered.
Many times, I thought of running away from this relationship, I admit that I'm a coward, I thought of ending this whole thing, because to me, falling in love with someone is really very tough for me.

I love freedom.
I love being alone.
But for you, I sacrificed my freedom, to spend time with you.
It's not easy for me to video call someone in mornings and nights.
It's not easy for me to report my daily routine to someone.
It's not easy for me to spend my whole day with someone without having private time myself.
It's not easy for me to make girlish stuff when dating, and when not dating.
It's very tough for me.
I changed a lot, which you didn't even notice, because you have never seen the person I was.
I was like a porcupine that nobody could ever able to approach me.

My Dear, please understand my heart.
Please understand the way I love you.
And please learn the way to love me,
Please?

To me, 100 paper hearts represent the beginning of our love journey.
More significantly, it also symbolizes that I have finally overcome my love phobia.
Please be patient with my sensitivity, and my little girl's fantasy romance.

The roses you made for me, I love them and appreciate them
The love you handwritten for me, I love it and appreciate it.
I appreciate everything that you handmade  for me.

My love, please too appreciate my heart that is as fragile as glass.

I love you.

Countdown 3 days.

见家长 Meeting Parents

我从来没有拍拖，所以也就不曾有过所谓的‘见男朋友家长’。
我见过朋友们的家长。通常我跟好朋友们的家长都相处得还不错。
不过我跟好朋友们是相识了很多年的那种。

隔了很久，我已经很久没有‘见’新的‘家长’。

我接受你之前，我要求你见我的父母，尤其是我的父亲。
你很紧张。
你紧张到拒绝我，不过冷静了以后，你还是鼓起勇气见我的父亲。
亲爱的，谢谢你。
对我来说，我的恋情，以及我的婚姻，都必须拥有我父母的祝福。
谢谢你，让我的父亲接受了你。
谢谢你，让我可以在我父母面前自然地谈起你。
谢谢你。
因为你是第一次正式‘见女朋友家长’。

本来我很想见你的父母，然而你父母不曾提过想见我。
我渐渐地失望。所以我不再提了。
我以为，你并没有想要我见他们。
我以为，只有我一个人热情。

殊不知，你受伤了，因为我退缩了。
对不起，亲爱的。
现在的我愿意‘见家长’。
尽管我是那么地紧张害怕。不过只要你在我身边，我就有向前冲的勇气了。
只因为我爱着你。

I haven't been in a relationship before this, so I haven't met any boyfriend's parents.
I met my best friends' parents. Usually I have good time with my best friends' family.
But my best friends and I have been very good friends like, for decades.

It's been a long while since I met 'new' parents.

Before I accepted you, I requested you to meet my parents first, especially my father.
You were so nervous.
You were so nervous until you rejected me immediately, but after some time, you calmed down and decided to meet my father.
My dear, thank you very much.
To me, my relationship and my marriage must have my parents' blessings.
Thank you, for making my father to accept you.
Thank you, for making me talk about you in front of my parents.
Thank you.
Because you officially met girlfriend's parents for the first time.

At first I was very anticipated to meet your parents however your parents never mentioned about meeting me.
Slowly I got disappointed and I didn't dare to mention it again.
I thought that you never wanted me to meet them
I thought that only I was excited and passionate.

Without noticing, you were hurt by me, because I stepped back.
I'm sorry, Honey.
Now I'm ready to meet your parents.
Even though I'm so nervous, anxious and afraid.
But as long as you are by my side, I have the courage to go forward to doing it.
Just because that I'm loving you deeply, my love.

小女生的浪漫 Every girls' fantasy

每一个女生都会憧憬自己的婚礼吧？
我从来不敢想象自己会有结婚的一天。
是你让我可以开始想象我要怎样的婚礼。

我喜欢自己动手做东西。
我知道你也喜欢。

常常，我跟你分享我天马行空的想法。
而你总是答应我稀奇古怪的要求。

我们要亲自做自己的爱情影片。
我们一起构思，要怎么样的旁白，要怎么样的演绎，还有要怎么样的地点。

我们要在巴厘岛自拍婚纱照。
我们一起找拍照的灵感，一起找拍照的衣服，还有一起找拍照要用的相机。

我们要自己设计晚宴的场地。
我们一起构思，决定场地要用两个主色，你爱的紫色还有我爱的白色，决定要把我们的爱情日记印出来然后拼成一个爱心，决定要找一个小黑板，写上冯老师以及爱蔚老师，决定要把你每一次送给我的玫瑰花，我每一次都作成干花，把它们放在相框里，然后展示给宴客看。

每一次我们一起讨论的时候，我都觉得很幸福。
因为你是那么地支持我。
因为你是那么地棒。
因为你总是可以做得出我所想要的东西。

你与我，是那么地契合。
亲爱的，你是最棒的。
谢谢你，你是我最大的幸福。
遇见你，让我体会了，爱与被爱。

我爱你。


I guess that every girl will fantasize own wedding.
Before this, I never dare to imagine that I might get married one day.
It's you who changed me, you made me to start fantasize my own wedding.

I love doing things with hands.
And you too.

I always share my weird thoughts with you.
And you always agree to all my funny requests.

We want to make our own love story video.
We come out together with own ideas, create the narrate dialogue, how to act, and where to do our video.

We want to take pre-wedding photos ourselves in Bali island.
We find the inspiration together, look for suitable dress or suit, and decide which camera to buy.

We want to design our own wedding reception venue.
We think of using two main colors, the purple you love and the white I love, decide to print out our love journal on purple papers and pin onto a white cloth as our photo booth, get a mini blackboard and write Cikgu Fong & Cikgu Ivy, and also not to forget every rose you gave me that I made into dried rose, we shall put them in photo frames and show to guests, showing them every little detail of our love journey.

Every time we discuss these little details, I feel so blissful and grateful.
Because you are so supportive.
Because you are so great.
Because you always can do everything that I want.

You and me, are perfect match.
You and me, are so compatible.
Dear, You are the Best.

Thank you so much.
You are the sweetest thing happened in my life.
To meet you.
To be loved by you.
And to love you.

I love you.

结婚*婚姻 Wedding*Marriage

结婚是一天的事请；婚姻却是一辈子的事请。

相爱的人自然想要结婚，跟对方在一起一生一世。
不过最重要的并不是结婚的大喜日子，却是结婚后的生活。

结婚，是人生中最大的决定。
轰轰烈烈，隆重盛世。
然而婚后的生活，才是人生最重要的决定。
细水长流，或者是吵吵闹闹。

我想要跟你结婚。
我想要跟你快乐地生活。
我想要跟你组织一个家庭。
我想要跟你一起度过每一天。
我想要在你难过的时刻，抱住你，拍拍你的背。
我想要在你快乐的时刻，看着你的笑，也跟着你笑。
我想要在你生病的时刻，陪伴在你身边，给你吃药，带你去看医生，还有好好照顾你。
我想要在你生气的时刻，拉拉你的手，对你说：老公，不要生气，不要为了这种人生气。因为你还有我。

老公，老公，老公。我喜欢跟你撒娇。
这一辈子，我只想跟你撒娇。
老公，我爱你哦。亲亲。

Getting married, is the biggest decision in our life.

Hence people always get married in a very grand way, 

However the most important decision in our life is deciding how to live our married life.

Either to live married life in peaceful way or in chaotic way.

I want to get married to you.

I want to live happily together with you.

I want to form a family with you.

I want to spend every day with you.

When you are sad, I want to hug you, patting on your back.

When you are happy, I want to look at your smile, and laugh together with you.

When you are sick, I want to stay beside you, give you medicine, bring you to doctor, and take good care of you.

When you are angry, I want to hold your hand, and said to you, 'Honey, don't get angry, don't be upset or disappointed with mean people, because you still have me'.

Lao Gong, Lao Gong, Lao Gong, I love acting cute with you.

For my life, I only want to act cute with you, and only you.

Lao Gong, I love you oh. Muaks Muaks. 

交换日记 Journal Exchange

我们交换日记长达三个月多。

“这个星期开始，我们开始写部落格吧。” 你说。

“嗯。”我答应。

你比较喜欢电子，我比较喜欢纸张。

不过我们都愿意为对方做对方喜欢的事情。

你为了我写日记在纸张上。

所以让我从今天开始将日记记载在部落格吧。

亲爱的，我爱你。

亲爱的，对不起。

亲爱的，我会学习爱你。

亲爱的，我知道你很好，我也知道你爱我疼我。

亲爱的，我都知道，我也会对你很好，很爱你，也很疼你。

爱情的道路上，并不容易。

从开始到现在，我们在一起了三个月呢。

我想要跟你在一起一辈子，想要跟你一起白头到老。

白头到老，是最浪漫的。

携子之手，与子偕老。

请记得牵我的手，直到最后一刻。

我爱你，冯月心。

We have exchanged our journals for more than three months. 

"Starting from this week, let's blog." You said.

"Ok." I agreed.

You love writing in electronic blogs, while I love writing on papers. 

But we are willingly to do things the person we love.

You have been writing journals on papers for the past three months, for me.

So, let me start blogging daily, starting from today, for you. 

Dear, I love you.

Dear, I'm sorry.

Dear, I will learn to love you.

Dear, I know that you are very good person, and I also know that you love me and pamper me a lot.

Dear, I know it all. And I will treat you very well too, I will love you and pamper you a lot.

It's not easy to travel on the pathway of love.

Since the beginning until now, we have been together for three months.

I want to be together with you forever, I want to grow old together with you, until our hair turn grey. 

"Bai Tou Dao Lao" (Grow old until hair turn grey), is the most romantic thing ever.

Let's hold each other's hand, And grow old together with each other.

Please, remember to hold my hand, until the final moment.

Fong Ngip Heng, I love you.